Themes
Loss and bereavment
Often our reaction to loss and mourning has a profound impact upon our lives and can take many forms. Mourning is a natural process and takes time. It can be one of the most painful experiences we have.
Unbearable feelings of loss can be triggered by the death of people in our lives, separation or breakdown in relationships and the loss of a job or indeed an idea of ones self or of a future we had planned.
We may hold grief for someone who was unborn through miscarriage, pregnancy termination or stillbirth.
Our beliefs, thoughts, emotions and hopes for the future may be distorted significantly by the experience of loss. Feelings of shock, guilt or shame are common-place and the question “What if" can be a familiar preoccupation.
Therapy/counselling can provide a safe and contained space to explore and experience what may feel like unbearable feelings. The therapist will assist the person in mourning to work through the process and come to terms with their loss.
Trauma
Psychological trauma occurs when a person witnesses or is involved in a situation which is experienced as life threatening. Intense fear, helplessness, loss of control, and fear of annihilation occur when normal defenses to fight or flee are overwhelmed or ineffective. Trauma shatters the very foundation of ones being, bringing into question previously held assumptions regarding safety, trust, identity, relationships with others and religious or spiritual beliefs.
Trauma survivors commonly experience intense emotion without clear memory of traumatic events, or conversely, recall details of traumatic events but without emotion. They may alternate between feeling numb and reliving past traumatic events in present time. A loss of flexibility in responding to life situations can be experienced.
Therapy/Counselling will enable the person to experience the difficult feelings around the trauma within a safe environment and understand how the experience is impacting upon their lives. The work will enable relief from symptoms and the opportunity to come to terms with the painful feelings around the trauma.
Relationships
Relationships, whether with partners, family or friends, can be the best of experiences; but when they go wrong it can be devastating and have negative impacts upon our sense of identity and self-worth. A cycle of negative conflict or unhelpful repeating patterns may also cause stress, anxiety and depression.
It is worth being aware that most important relationships may bring up strong emotions, positive and negative. Signs of trouble may be boredom, resentment and dissatisfaction and individuals may begin to communicate less or affairs might be desired.
Our relationships in the present may be influenced by our relationships in the past, especially the relationships we had in the family with our parents and siblings or other family members. Relationships at work can often mirror family or peer relationships from early years, perhaps at school.
Relationship therapy/counselling can help you consider your relationship issues and get some clarity on how to change your situation for the better. Talking in a focused manner can help identify patterns in relationships, such as: confusions; destructive behaviours; loneliness; conflict and separation, helping break free of old patterns. It may help us to have a better relationship with ourselves, which in turn may mean our other relationships improve.
Exploring our relationship with ourselves and others can offer the chance to examine our patterns of interacting, to allow us to lead healthier and happier lives as we learn new skills.
Stress
Stress can be overwhelming and stops us from relating and functioning in general. It can be brought on through difficult experiences, short or sustained exposure to life situations or loss. The symptoms of stress may be sleeplessness, anxiety, inability to reason and contain anger, panic attacks, social withdrawal, agitation, self-harm and feelings of helplessness.
Long term exposure to stress can lead to serious physical and mental health problems leaving people more vulnerable to anxiety and depression.
Therapy/Counselling is useful in dealing with stress through providing a safe space to explore feelings and understand the causes and unconscious triggers of the stress. In turn enabling a relief from the symptoms, a wider understanding of self and a healthier approach to life.
Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is one of the most devastating forms of abuse, since our sexuality is so closely connected with our identity in the world and our sense of self. There are a number of different ways people can be sexually abused. Many people who were sexually abused suffer with internal conflicts related to their bodies. They may have problems liking their bodies, or parts of their bodies, or enjoying their sexuality. They may experience difficult emotions during sex and be drawn to compulsive behaviour around sex. Sometimes symptoms present as depression, anxiety, or panic attacks, and drug, alcohol or food addictions. Many times sexual abuse survivors struggle in trusting in relationships. Emotions can be misunderstood or unmanaged and feelings of shame are common.Issues around memory of abusive experiences are also common.
Therapy/Counselling for sexual abuse helps to move towards a new way of understanding the abusive experiences and help separate past events from who we are, and our value in the world. Through this the person can develop a better sense of control and understanding of emotions and may begin to feel more free and engaged in intimate experience.
Depression
Talking therapy is often the first recommendation for the treatment of depression. Discussions tend to focus on better understanding the factors that are causing their depression and finding ways to work through the obstructions.
Therapy/Counselling is based on the assumption that a person is depressed because of unresolved, generally unconscious conflicts, often stemming from early life. The goal of this type of therapy is for the person to understand and manage these feelings by talking about their experiences.
Therapy/Counselling helps people with depression through:
Understanding the behaviours, emotions, and ideas that contribute to his or her depressed state
Understanding and identifying the life problems or events that contribute to their depression and help them understand which aspects of those problems they may be able to solve or improve
Regaining a sense of control and pleasure in life, and
Learning coping techniques and problem-solving skills